


Pundits with a Big Blue Box

by unquietspirit



Series: PBJ Amnesty [1]
Category: Doctor Who (2005), Fake News RPF
Genre: M/M, WIP Amnesty
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-25
Updated: 2014-05-25
Packaged: 2018-01-26 11:33:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 992
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1686836
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unquietspirit/pseuds/unquietspirit
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The time Jon and Stephen saved the world (with help from the Doctor).</p>
            </blockquote>





	Pundits with a Big Blue Box

**Author's Note:**

> Posted as part of WIP Amnesty 2014, and as such, will never be finished. I remember the plan was Jon and Stephen go back in time to prevent Sarah Palin from becoming president, and then the Doctor brings them to Jon's inauguration.

There was a blue box large enough to walk into in the middle of Jon's office, next to his couch. He'd never seen it before, but oddly thought nothing of it, simply stepped around it to get to his desk as though it has always been there. The realization hit him after he sat down to turn his computer on.

_Wait, why the hell is there a huge blue box in here?_

"Jon!"

He nearly jumped out of his skin. Stephen's head was poking around the edge of an open door on the side of the blue box, grinning the grin that always makes Jon slightly scared.

"Jon, come in here! You won't believe it!"

"Stephen... _what_...?"

"Come on!"

"But... did you _build_ that in here?" Jon asked. "It's too big to fit through the door!"

"Just come inside and I'll explain everything," Stephen said, and his head disappeared into the box.

Jon sighed. The box was big, but it wasn't _that_ big; there'd hardly be any room to move with him and Stephen both inside. Wondering if this was some bizarre claustrophobic sex thing Stephen wanted to try, he got up and stepped around his desk. 

"When I said we should explore our kinks," he said, putting his palm against the wooden door to push it open farther, "I didn't think-" The words fell from his parted lips as he stared at the interior of the box.

"It's bigger on the inside!" Stephen said delightedly, arms outstretched, standing at least ten feet away from Jon and _still inside the box_.

Jon stepped forward tentatively, sure that it was some kind of optical illusion, but as he crossed the threshold the space inside only seemed larger. It was dome shaped, the walls and floor both made of some kind of brownish metal, but with curving organic pillars extending from floor to ceiling. They reminded Jon of coral, and gave him the strange impression that the room was grown rather than built. In the center was a circular console covered in a hodgepodge of buttons, knobs, and levers, with a glowing column connecting it to the apex of the ceiling. And standing beside the console was a skinny man in a blue suit and red Converse sneakers. He looked up from fiddling with some knobs and said, very quickly and with a British accent, "Come on, Jon! We haven't got much time! Welllll, actually, we've got all the time in the universe, but I don't like to dally. Allons-y!"

Jon walked farther into the box until he was standing next to Stephen, who was still grinning as though it was Christmas, his birthday, and a resounding Republican defeat on Election Night all rolled into one.

"But... _how_ is it bigger on the inside?"

Stephen pointed to the guy in the suit, who was repeatedly hitting a button on the console and frowning when nothing happened. "He says it's some kind of inter-dimensional thing. Isn't it _spectacular_?"

"Who is he?" Jon asked, because he thought he might understand the answer to that better than any of the other questions he had.

The man left off pushing the button and thrusted his hand toward Jon. "Sorry, I keep forgetting you haven't met me yet. I'm the Doctor."

"... Jon Stewart," he replied, shaking it.

"Course you are! Now, I think _this_ one!" He dropped Jon's hand to spin around and slap his palm down on a different button, and exclaimed "Ha!" as the column in the center of the console glowed more brightly.

"You might want to hold onto something for this part," Stephen said, himself grabbing the railing behind them. Jon opened his mouth to ask why just as the Doctor pulled on a lever and the entire room lurched. He was forced to clutch Stephen's arm to stay on his feet. The glow within the column starts moving up and down, and the room fills with sound. Later, he thinks the closest onomatopoeic approximation is "vworp", though Stephen describes it as "a drunken, asthmatic elephant".

"What the fuck is going on?!" he asked, having to raise his voice over the noise.

"No idea!" Stephen shouted back. "This is what he did before, and suddenly we were in your office!"

The noise stopped, the stilled, and the Doctor turned a screen that was hanging above the console towards them. "See for yourselves."

Stephen stepped closer to look at it. "That's the National Mall," he said, sounding still more delighted.

"Wait, you're telling me we went from Manhattan to Washington, DC in five seconds?"

The Doctor nodded toward the door. "Go on, if you don't believe me."

Jon opened the door and poked his head outside, fully prepared in spite of everything to be back in his office. But it was a bit difficult to mistake the Lincoln Memorial for anything else, particularly when you're looking at the nineteen-foot statue of Lincoln himself.

"We're in Washington, DC," Jon said.

"Yes, we are," the Doctor agreed. "and to answer your next question, you're standing in the TARDIS, my spaceship-slash-time-machine, which is how we got here. And it's vitally important that you trust me, so read this, please."

 

"Time isn't linear, and it's constantly changing. New pasts, new presents, new futures, they're all being created and destroyed every instant. But in all this mass of shifting possibilities, there are some events that are fixed points. Some things must always happen, and some things must never happen. You just helped prevent one of the latter, and now allow me to show you one of the former."

"...Sure?"

"I'm breaking a pretty big rule of mine to show you this. This is a major spoiler. But now that I've met you, I think it might be the only way to make it happen. At least, I hope so. That, or we could create a time paradox resulting in the collapse of the universe. Only one way to find out! Allons-y!"


End file.
